Saturday, October 07, 2006
Suppose to be studying.. suppose to be completing my practical. Due to the incident.. i have been lagging behind so much in my studies.. just can't push myself to be strong.. to act like nothing happened..
Spoke to cara a moment ago .. Matt told her
"he is sorry.. he did not see her at the musical.. ask her transfer to his pay to his account.. "
simple 17 words..
yet.. we are so hurt by it..
I cried again after a hanging up the phone..
my heart is so cold..
with every tear drop, another stab on my heart..
how did we come to this..
Our concern was a sin..
our friendship was one sided..
does it worth nothing to you?
it is only worth like that..
chosen to ended it like that..
We looked at each other, than you just turned away...
We came to the front of you and you chose to leave..
We chose to give you time..
We choose to believe we will be fine after a while, but you chose to end it..
What should i be feeling?
i don't know..
repeating pain..
i never knew it will be like that..
i never knew it will affect me like that..
i see someone i do not recognise in the mirror..
Why.. why... why..
Friends tolD me don't hurt myself..
said i do it on good intentions..
yet... i feel its my fault..
yet i feel like my heart has die...
yet the pain physically feels like nothing at all..
Remembering the things we did for your bday..
Remembering your smile and aweward face..
Remembering sitting there talking to you as we graze at the water
Remembering We were going to write lyric together for a song..
Remembering laughing and eating ice together
Remembering you playing with moriji
Remembering wrapping your bunny
Remembering hugging it and sleeping in the train
Remembering you guys bothering me to go ice skating
Remembering.. Remembering.. All the memories..
History as time has call it..
As you have seen it..
it was worth so little ..
but i hurt so bad..
treasuring someone never been so painful for me..
God can you stop playing me with the friends i love?
can you turn back time and give us back the him we know?
i no longer recognise the person i stare at as i look into his eyes..
Like a stranger..
Like a aquaintance..
Like we are his enemy..... like.. i don't know what to say
I don't wanna give up..
like deep in him there is a part of him that still loves us
but what can i do? He has chosen to bury it
stained with tears.. my eyes can never be clear again
i yawned @ 2:35 PM;
